2019. the year of
anxiety & sunshine
& beauty & depression
of drinking good coffee
& soul-nourishing gallery visits
of leaning into therapy & pain
of hours & days lost as buried tears were found sitting on the kitchen floor while Saturn played
2019. the year of
feelings felt & found & held & felt
of grief faced & waves crashing
food uneaten, weight losing
chasms opening
heart cracking & life shaking
of questions asked
& answers found wanting
as festered rage & long-accepted values
were both…released
2019. the year of
pain & striving
for peace
of lost memories found & faced
of emotional breaking & life & self shaking of inner light dimming
& slow sparking match-light reviving
of healing through
the mind-soul-body medicines
of meditation & journalling
of 29minute whatsapp voicenote musings
of beauty & art
& poetry & space
of lush bath-bombs & masturbating
of beautiful smells & netflix binges
& m&s champagne sipped
by fairy light
of radically
abundant
self grace
& the gift of
space
taking
& making
& giving
space to me
to breathe & be
& feel & see
& wonder & wander

2019. the year of
taking-up
space
to cry & laugh & rage
the year of breaking
boundaries & beliefs
of (nearly) breaking apart
& being held in the breaking
2019. the year of
losing
& finding
& freeing
of shuddering beauty
& (beautifully) ugly crying
of breath quickening & catching
& deep exhaling
2019. the year of
frustrated containment in white spaces
of colour seeking & power claiming
of being unseen & seen
of being unanchored & held
in grace & love
2019. the year of feeling
& being
more
more
more….
of me