On foreplay and virginity

Do you ever experience someone saying or doing something really small or simple, but it opens up a WHOLE NEW way of thinking for you? Well thank you Hollie McNish for doing that for me this week!

I read a short poem/sketch she shared and *hey presto*, I’m deconstructing the ‘bases’ of sex and doing some serious musing on virginity. Firstly, she’s absolutely right. The Male Tongue created the language of sex (and I don’t mean in the good way !*).

Why is the pleasure from a hand or tongue, which, when used with consent & consideration, is powerful and rich enough to bring women and men and others to climax deemed ‘fore‘ play? Why not just ‘play’?

Why is virginity ‘lost’ (lost?) when a person’s penis enters another’s vagina? Why not when a person first experiences the releasing pleasure of consensual orgasm with another? Why instead is female virginity bound to men reaching that ‘final’ base where they orgasm inside another? Wait-are lesbians virgins forever?!

Why are those few films which show women receiving one of life’s great pleasures (well, when done right!) rated 18, while scenes of women pleasuring men are just soooo commonplace that’ll just be a 15? (Yep, true fact: Blue Valentine; Ryan Gosling fighting for that scene to be classed R – UK 15- frankly made that film and him even hotter!)

You know why?

Why?

….

Patriarchy.

Patriarchy decided language.

Patriarchy decided rules of sex.

That’s why.

To remake the rules, we have to reclaim and remake language.

So here’s to more playtime for all.

Who’s coming with me? 😉

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2 thoughts on “On foreplay and virginity

  1. I’ve wondered when lesbians would be considered not to be virgins anymore – I assumed it was once they’d ‘known’ another woman. Why not with heterosexual couples then? A lot of societies and civilisations have placed a lot of meaning on the hymen and what it represents.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed. The focus on the hymen is patriarchal-the control of a woman’s ‘so called purity’ which can only be taken by/lost to a man! And instead we ban or/& sexualise lesbianism-so ironic that women pleasuring women has been hijacked for male pleasure. Bloody patriarchy!

      Like

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