Here’s a little tale about my journey from work one eve, starring my shoe; OK, that intro makes it sound weird but it’s a thrilling tale for anyone who likes, or loathes, shoes, or enjoys laughing at me, or first world problems, or any & all of these…have a read:
We begin our story with our protagonist – some would even say ‘heroine’, Natalia, leaving work a little late having discovered too late that the powerPoint she was editing for her boss had comments with action points on it (damn u Google slides for not showing those!). She leaves the office at 6pm to get the 6.13pm train & does a lil slow jog, cum power-walk to ensure said train is reached so that she will be punctual to meet her friend for dinner. Onlookers would note that, even while rushing, Natalia looks decidedly hot today, & those with a keen eye for sartorial matters may note with appreciation her fabulous Zara heeled boots.
Partway through her speedy walk to the station Natalia feels her heel step in a crack in the pavement…oh then another one… then the dreaded *realisation*: “that’s not a crack, that’s my heel having snapped!” Cue Natalia bopping along the road, endeavouring to stay upright while searching for cobblers online …to find that the only cobblers is closed (oh the disappointment of the ‘recently closed’ function on Google search-just saying ‘closed’ would suffice Google!). Natalia hobbles down the High Street, dejectedly passing closed charity & shoe shops, finally reaching a Tesco which, though 200metres away, feels like a triathlon-level endeavour to reach!
Superglue procured, Natalia takes a seat to apply it-there is hope! While the glue is drying, our heroine frantically WhatsApp messages and calls her friend to apologise & explain the mighty obstacles which have befallen her and curtailed her earnest efforts to be prompt to their dinner engagement. (Said friend is beyond understanding & uses her own telephonic device to call the restaurant & push back the dinner reservation: hope grows!).
A few minutes after acquainting the superglue with her heel Natalia tests the union & connects them closer with her hand to secure their bond: ROOKIE MISTAKE. Cue careful, fear-filled prising of superglue-coated fingers off said heel in *just* the nick of time, before being permanently adhered to the broken heel for life (if the superglue packaging is to be believed!!). While fingers & mood are now not in their best state, the heel seems tentatively secure & Natalia cautiously leaves Tesco to make her way to dinner.
Our heroine manages to walk purposefully, yet carefully, towards the station… THEN a mere 30 metres from station Natalia realises the heel has loosened again!!! Now she could concede defeat & curl into the foetal position to cry herself to sleep on a quiet Teddington bench. But NO, she womans up & boldly stomps on & makes it to the station with 2mins til next train (thanking God & South West trains that the train is not on the platform over the bridge!!).
Upon taking the seat on the train Natalia reapplies superglue & makes contact with her friend who, rather than being frustrated that her & her lovable parasite, aka foetus, are being kept from their dinner, instead ventures to a shop whence she sends Natalia a plethora of photographs of (flat!) shoes from which our heroine can choose. Natalia thus continues her journey with the confidence of a) a re-glued heel b) the knowledge that beautiful, peach-coloured, suede ballet pumps (& Time Out recommended food) await her!
And so this story- of what is possibly, & probably, the most first-world-woman problem ever!– ends with two friends eating delicious Tandoor food in London, enjoying great conversation, & with Natalia’s feet comfortably ensconced in pretty, comfortable, & un-breakable shoes which her friend insisted were received as a gift.
So yes, a HAPPY ENDING to the eve & a tale of womanning up to inspire people across the world or even the universe!
And as for the boots? Well, some women may dispose of them (gasp!); others may try to wear them, trusting that the superglue’s label speaketh truth. Not she. No no. Our heroine packed the fabulous, cherished, £4.99-from-her-local-charity-shop (FOUND in Harrow!!) shoes & took them with her all the way to Ghana, wherein for the sum of £5 the heel was repaired & Natalia got her strut back. (Though she will be keeping a pair of ballet shoes in her bag when she wears them again… just in case.)